Lesson From A Dear Friend

Me

*Jason* bailed on me this weekend...again

2:02pmColin

What?

2:02pmMe

I was in Provo

We were supposed to get together

And he was supposed to go to Conference with me

He completely bailed on me

2:02pmColin

And you are attempting to hang out with him, why?

2:03pmMe

I told him I was done and he just said "Okay...it makes sense"

I deleted his phone number from my phone

He sent me a text saying "I'm sorry.."

I didn't respond and he made his status "I'm glad that's over..."

I may punch him when I see him in the detachment next semester

2:05pmColin

For you, associating with *Jason* is like getting burned, and it hurting you badly, yet still playing with fire because you like it even though the burns will only get worse.

So I am glad that you are throwing away the match book with his number written on it]

2:07pmMe

I have cried and cried and cried for 3 days

2:08pmColin

I have been wallowing in deep depression, stress and anxiety so you should know that misery loves company and you are in good company.

2:08pmMe

:(

I was a sobbing mess this morning

Emotional pain and I just don't get along

2:10pmColin

I am very sorry that you are so heart broken but you really need to just let him go. You deserve a MAN not a sissy little boy like *Jason*. You should have some one who loves you and adores you and will do anything and everything in their power to make sure that you never feel the way you did this morning or at anytime during this grieving period you have experienced for love lost.

2:13pmColin

I completely understand where you are coming from. I also don't handle negative emotions very well. I have a broken knuckle on my right hand that is now becoming severely arthritic due to my inability to cope with a rush of negative emtions in a correct way and punched something, snapping it like a twig and scarring my hand for life. I have cried with the best of them and wallowed in self pity until I nearly drowned myself in my own tears, but there comes a time when you just have to say "No More!"

2:14pmColin

I am not going to take this anymore, I am not going to be with some one or even around people that make me feel this way and I am going to pick myself up and dust myself off and gather what ever parts of me are broken and fix them.

2:16pmColin

I am going to build myself better, stronger, and faster than I was. I am going to laugh harder and love more. I am going to find myself and never let go of who I am and who I want to be. I am going to wash in the spirit if the Lord and remove all the ick that I have allowed to seep into my life and become the change in the world that I want to see.

2:19pmColin

Love is a many splended thing, but the opposite of Love is not HATE, it is indifference. When you love someone, you unknowingly and unwittingly allow them slight dominion over you. Their ideas and thoughts influence you in ways that no one else's will, so in effect the have control over you. So does Hate, it can do all the same things to a person that Love can just in the negative. When you Love someone, you will try to move mountains for them. When you hate them, you will try to move mountains on top of them.

2:21pmColin

Yet, when you become indifferent you are able to let go all the feelings you have, good and bad, and just be you again. You call the shot as to who you are and what you think. =You no longer are influenced by them or their actions because you just don't care who they are, what they think, who they hang out with or what they do. That is where you should strive to be.

2:23pmMe

As I sit here fighting the tears, all I can think is "Wow! Can I borrow that for my blog?"

lol

I'm such a dork