A Love I Never Thought I'd Get To Get To

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Gardner House Photography

Being a photographer has helped me blossom and express myself in ways that I never thought possible. Having a creative outlet has aided me in the journey to find myself again after the depression that followed caring for my grandparents. The last year has been amazing for my photography. 







You can follow me on my adventure and see more of my work at www.facebook.com/gardnerhousephotography!

Friday, July 22, 2016

The Important Thing Is That I Keep Trying...Right?

Another year has come and gone...almost exactly to the day. It has been a year of loss, learning, growth, and love. Each year seems to bring new challenges and new adventures. Life. Am I right?

Let's pick up where we left off. After my grandma passed away, the difficult task of dispensing and dispersing treasures and trash accumulated over 40 years began. The day my grandparents' house sold and I walked through the empty rooms for the last time is a day I will never forget. I am not ashamed to admit that I sobbed with full body, chest heaving sobs that took my breath away as I sat on the floor in the middle of my grandparents' empty bedroom. Visions of the home I had known my entire life filled my mind's eye as vividly as if the house was still full of the furniture that had filled it. I was fortunate enough to acquire some of my grandma's most beautiful and prized pieces of furniture. They are featured prominently in my home and are a testament to the world that Jack and Nina Smith lived, loved, and were deeply loved by their posterity. At least that's what I like to tell myself. Every part of me aches if I think about it too much...





July saw another move for the Gardner family. Michael and I moved North toward the airport do Michael would be closer to school and work. We settled on an adorable apartment in Draper, directly across from the only Ikea in Utah...and up the street from Leatherby's, Kohl's, In-N-Out, Smith's, and every other store and restaurant we love. It reminds me of living in Fort Worth. Right next to the freeway and less than a mile from literally everything we could ever need.






In August, I escaped the sinking ship that was PhotoFlare Studios; a job I thought was everything I dreamed of, but turned out to be a colossal mistake. A person who has no formal training or education in studio photography has no business opening a studio. Jeniece turned out to be a fraud and a thief and I am grateful to have distanced myself from such a vile, dishonest person. Don't feel too bad for me, though. Five minutes after leaving my position as the Photography Manager of PhotoFlare, I was on the phone with Lifetouch. I first worked for Lifetouch when we lived in Fort Worth. The Utah territory was thrilled to hear I wanted to come back and offered me an immediate position. Since returning to Lifetouch I have travelled, learned invaluable photography skills, and won a Judges Award of Merit. JAMs are awarded to the top 10 photographers each season. Yes, I was ranked in the top 10 Lifetouch photographers in North America...I feel awesome! In addition to the JAM, one of my images was selected for the Lifetouch Calendar, but I don't want to brag. ;)











October is the start of my favorite half of the year. I don't love the snow we get here in Utah, but I love the magic that seems to dance in the air as the season turns. Halloween is one of our favorite holidays here in the Gardner home. I love that Michael and I very similar views on so many things. Halloween is one of them. Neither us are fans of the scary, gory side of Halloween. We both love the magical, fun side that makes you feel like anything is possible. We have a tradition of choosing a theme each year. Our costumes and decorations match the theme and each year is better than the last. We have turned the front door into the Tardis in space, the front yard into Halloween Town, and last October I painted a spooky graveyard and haunted house on the windows of our apartment. We converted our patio into a fog filled, spider infested cemetery and won the decorating contest hosted by our apartment complex. We are so excited for this year!



Our first holiday season after my grandma's passing was difficult to say the least. Michael and I were so used to spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with my grandma that it felt like a piece of us was missing. December was rough. Michael was in a car accident a few days before Christmas and spent a few weeks in a neck brace. He wasn't a fan and tried to avoid it when he could. I wound up in the emergency room with a kidney infection and was pretty much over December. The highlight of December, for me at least, was my parents finding my sweet Echo. A tiny kitten left alone for 3 days in a Utah snowstorm won't survive very long. She kept trying to get into my parents' home in Manti, so they brought her to us in Draper and the rest is history....Admittedly, Michael wasn't as thrilled as I was, but Echo is the sweetest little cat that ever catted and I promised not to accumulate any more animals until our ranks have thinned out a bit. Plus, Belle loves her.



Valentine's Day: I made a fun Valentine's Day breakfast and Michael gave me a wonderful Origami Owl locket.







March marked my 31st birthday and our 5 year anniversary. I am not enjoying getting older, but it's one of those things science hasn't quite figured out how to cure. I'm hoping we'll figure it out at some point. Michael and I are still trying for children and continue it to pray it will happen soon. Michael surprised me with a "Hawaiian Hideaway" and dinner at The Roof and Belle spent her first night at an amazing kennel with cameras that let me watch her all night. My good friend Happy took me to dinner and frozen yogurt on another night and surprised me with beautiful birthday flowers. It was a great birthday! For our anniversary, Michael surprised me with the best Kitchen-Aid ever. It's mint!!


Michael's Grandma Gardner passed away unexpectedly in April and his Grandpa Gardner just passed away two weeks ago. Eleven weeks apart. Two funerals so close to each other is a bit overwhelming emotionally. We are only 2 days away from the 3 year anniversary of my father-in-law's passing. With all the people we have lost over the years, Michael and I have decided no one else is allowed to die for the next 20 years.

My brother's wife spent the end of March and most of April in the hospital with pregnancy complications. Michael and I made Easter dinner and took it to Christopher and Darci in the hospital. We loved bringing them a little Easter cheer during trying time.


The highlight of May was Michael's graduation. He is finally done with school and is preparing to take his licensing exams. By the end of the year, Michael will be a full-fledged Aviation Maintenance Engineer. He is working hard and I am so proud of him!

Summer has been busy and full of road trips to Las Vegas, Manti, Lagoon, swimming, walks with Belle, lazer tag, great movies, lots of work. Michael and I have committed to another year in Draper and are anticipating a move to the Memphis area for Michael's job. We even started planning a trip to Hawaii for our 6th anniversary and I am excited beyond words!


































Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Grandma

. My sweet, sassy, stubborn Grandma passed away May 27, just 3 days after her 88th birthday. Nina Mae Gibson Smith was a woman of many talents. She baked, sewed, painted, sketched, crocheted and made beautiful needlepoint tapestries. My grandmother could make dinner out anything in the kitchen. She rarely followed a recipe, but dinner was always delicious when she cooked. I learned so much from her and miss her desperately.When Michael and I moved after 4 years of  living with and taking care of her, I had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't be long before she passed away. Life became incredibly busy for me and Michael (I worked for Provo HIgh School and started managing PhotoFlare Studio and Michael left his job with US Synthetic to get ahead in school.) and we didn't see Grandma nearly as much as we wanted.

I took Belle over to spend the day with Grandma on her Birthday and am grateful for the time I spent with her that day. It was the last day she was coherent. Michael and I spent the next 4 days and a few of the nights caring for her once again as she struggled to leave this life. My grandparents were a lot like parents to me. y grandfather was the first person to hold me when I was born and my grandmother often cared for me when my mother went to work. Their home in Provo was my first home and it is deeply engrained in my soul. I love them both so much and feel as though a part of me has been ripped away and the missing piece will never be replaced. I always knew my grandma loved me, no matter what.