Life has a way of beating you up, tearing you down, and wearing you out. The past year has been a rough one and I'll be the first to admit that I probably could have handled some of the ups and downs a little better. In my defense, when your heart aches all the time and that feeling of emptiness just won't go away, the best way to handle a situation isn't always the first answer we turn to. Sometimes we do the first thing we can think of to make the pain go away. We cut people out of our lives, we make hasty decisions, we lose things that matter to us, and we grieve in our own way. For me, I pretend to be okay. I hold it together the best I can then fall apart in private...when I can...sometimes holding it together is more than you can handle.I came across an article entitled "Breaking up: Tips to Get Over A Break Up or Romantic Loss" By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway. At first, the thought of crying as a way of healing seemed a little bit off to me. I mean, how does falling apart and becoming a sobbing mess help anything? Then it started to make some sense. Have you ever noticed how when life is particularly rough, all you want to do is cry? I've heard lots of people say that they feel so much better after having a good cry. Girls get together and make a full blown event of it.
I wanted to share the part of the article I found most interesting:
"There is only one way I know of to get to the other side of the pain...crying. There will be many times daily that you will have to hold it together and pretend you are fine, but for the sake of healing your broken heart, be sure to set aside time every day to cry like a baby! Here are a few ways to encourage crying out those healing tears:
1. Crying in the shower
The shower is like a temple to tears. It is already filled with water. It is refreshing, cleansing and revitalizing. The shower knows no difference between your tears and itself, so there is a blending of waters that is very healing.
2. Crying over Sad Movies
Rent the saddest movies you know and those you've heard about. Watch movies about breaking up and break downs in relationships. There is something oddly comforting in watching someone else going through what you are feeling. They act out your inner most agonies and fears; they feel tortured and restless, they find release and solace, they find resolution and healing.
3. Listen to Music that Makes You Cry Your Eyes Out
Another way to bring up some of the pain buried deep inside is through music. The sadness of Mary Magdalene hangs heavy in popular songs, such as, "If I could See You One More Time" from the Message in a Bottle sound track; "If I Could," performed by Barbara Streisand; and "My Heart Will Go On" hauntingly sung by Celine Dion.
Grieving the end of a relationship is a natural stepping-stone in healing a wounded heart. But be assured, at some point your grief and heartache will transform itself into surviving a broken heart, and ultimately with (some introspection and reflection) into transcending it. But for now, just let go and cry."
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After reading the article, I believe that it applies to any situation where heartbreak, disappointment, and loss are a factor. We all know that love isn't the only thing that hurts to lose. We grieve over failures, loss of family members, trials, and dozens of other heartbreak worthy situations.
It's been a particularly rough week and a couple days ago I found myself consumed by the grief of everything that has been going wrong. I woke up overwhelmed and distraught over the hand life has dealt me at this particular moment. The pain was excruciating and I found myself struggling to hold it together. I got into the shower to get ready for my day and as the hot water started to relax the tense muscles in my back, the tears started to flow. Tears of frustration, grief, love, fear, loneliness, stress, doubt, and a handful of other emotions that I had been suppressing. I cried over a boy who had treated me badly and let me down, leaving me feeling worthless. I cried over the disappointment of watching a dream slip through my fingers and all the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's". I cried over the fear of what the next couple months are going to bring with the loss of my condo and the uncertainty of how I was going to accomplish my goals. I cried over feeling alone and defeated.
The sudden rush of emotions was painful and consuming. My heart hurt, I felt cold despite the hot water, and I finally felt everything I had tried to avoid feeling. When all my tears had mixed with the water rushing down the drain and there was nothing left, a feeling of peace settled and hope that I would be okay filled the hole left by the pain I had washed away.
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”~ Washington Irving
